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Dumped - he loves me, he loves me not

I have been seeing this guy for quite a while at which point we broke up due to some family problems. A little time afterwards he proposed to me thinking that he was serious. Just recently he changed his story entirely and ended it again, saying he was no longer interested. I love this guy with all my heart and it's hurting me to see him treat other women better then the way he treats me. Please advise me on what to do, thank you very much and I look forward to hearing from you. 

Anne
Answer:
Dear Anne
 
Looks like you've got a very confused man on your hands. One minute he loves you, the next he's flirting with girls across the street. Staying in love with someone that seems to be so fickle can lead to a lot of hurt if you're not careful.

Looking at this situation rationally and not from the eyes of someone in love, do you really feel that he's treating you fairly? Once love has overwhelmed us, it's often hard to see the flaws in our relationships. Your relationship with this guy seems to be progressing in a negative way and even though you're probably hoping it'll get better, chances are it won't. It seems to me that he's unsure of his true feelings for you, hitting momentary pockets of love and fear of not having you, but in the end he may not be ready for a committed relationship.

My only advice, besides dumping him would be to open up the channels of communication. Basically, get the ball back in your court. Give him the ultimatum that he either has to stop giving you mixed signals or he'll risk loosing your forever. Right now he is calling the shots, "I love you, maybe I don't." That's just hurtful! Remember, once you lay it out to him you shouldn't back down, stick to your word. Setting limits can sometimes motivate a man, by not backing down you're letting him know that you're serious and you won't continue to play his mind games.

I hope things work out..
 
 -Nate Lovestruck

 
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April 2005 4B

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