Dear Ellen
Falling in love with someone that is
still in the process of grieving over the loss of a spouse is
not a simple situation. The man you love has gone through a
very traumatic experience and is obviously not ready to move on.
Don't misunderstand his actions for a lack of feelings for you.
There can be many reasons why he is finding it hard to get
over the loss of his wife. Having had children with this woman
makes it much harder to forget her. His children are a part of
her, and a constant reminder of his loss. He may be experiencing
guilt for being able to have feelings for someone other than his
wife. When enough time has passed the pain may slowly subsides
and the idea of starting a new life with someone else will seem
more rational, but for now you have to respect his decision.
You may have done the right thing by ending the relationship.
Being in love with someone that isn't able to fully open up his
heart to you can only cause you pain and distress. By ending the
relationship not only are you unselfishly giving him the extra
time he needs to heal, you're also giving yourself an
opportunity to meet another man that will be able to love you
back.
Right now you are experiencing a lot of pain and probably
can't even fathom the thought of meeting someone new. Having to
end a relationship with someone you are still in love with is
one of the hardest things a person can do, and yes it will take
a while to get over him, but you will. Once you're ready you'll
be able to open yourself up to other men and perhaps fall in
love again
Good Luck
-Nate Lovestruck
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