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Dear Elle
Obsession
"A compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling
or emotion."
Once a relationship goes sour, for whatever reason, sometimes
adjusting to the single life can be tough. This newfound freedom can
be quite terrifying, anxiety kicks in, and desperation follows.
Instantly clinging to the last time you remember when things were
better. Which in this situation I take it was with your ex.
Obsession, a form of dependence. You once relied on your ex for
support and now that its gone, things don't seem to make as much
sense. Desperately you try to recreate what is now lost.
I suppose there isn't one right answer for a problem like this, but
really the only person that is going to help you drop this, is
yourself. Evaluate the situation, and realize that things are
different now. You should never have to beg for someone back, that
relationship is over and you're going to have to accept it.
Spend some time away from this guy to get your thoughts sorted out.
As much as this sounds silly and cliché, learn to love yourself. You
may someday realize that it wasn't so much the guy you were obsessed
with, but the support and comfort he represented. Learn to be happy
alone, to be content in your own presence. It takes a lot of will
power, self control and even a lowering of alcohol consumption (a
few drinks and calling him seems like a much better idea) but in the
end it will be worth it. Once you learn to be content with yourself,
not relying on other people for support and comfort, you'll find
life much more comfortable.
Hope things work out =)
-Nate Lovestruck
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