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When to give in? Should I Confess My feelings?

Originally I starting "seeing" this guy to get over someone. I made it apparent from the start that I didn't want more, to the point of being a complete bi*ch. Slowly but surely he got to me, and now things seem too complicated. I find myself liking him more then I'm comfortable feeling, which makes me want to eliminate all contact. I don't know how he feels about me but I refuse to fess up my feelings first. Although sometimes I suspect he feels the same.

Ryn
Answer:
Dear Ryn

It's funny how the mind rarely follows any set directions, the subconscious kicks in and does what it sees fit.  Getting attached to someone you originally labeled as nothing more then a fling can be a troublesome problem to deal with.

If you're scared of being the first one to confess just play it cool, analyze the situation further and try to find out if the feeling is truly mutual. As much as you're scared of your feelings and think that cutting off all contact might be the best course of action, you may want to give it a second thought. You never know what level of happiness may have been capable should things have gone further. You don't want to look back at this moment later in life and wonder what could have happened.

If you legitably think you like this person my best advice would be to just go with the flow for a bit. Feel things out and enjoy yourself, if he has deeper feelings for you he's bound to slip up eventually. Let's face it us men think we're secretive and slick but when it comes to women we tend to be quite transparent.  If you find yourself getting impatient in finding out his true intentions, another idea would be to turn up the volume a bit. Make hints, show more affection (instead of the ruthless bitchy side) and make your decision on how reacts to the test.

All in all it is a tough situation, and in the end there's no amount of advice that will fully solve it. You'll have to make a decision to either cut it off, wait it out, or confess your thoughts. Go with your gut instinct as it is usually the correct one. 

Best of Luck

-Nate Lovestruck

 
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April 2005 4B

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