Boyfriend neglects me, the passion has died down...

Dear Mindy

Keeping the passion alive in a long running relationship is definitely a problem most people have experienced. The trick of course is getting over this pause and reaching the next level. Being in a relationship we always seem to look back to the old times when we first fell in love, the passion, the excitement of our first kiss. When spending the entire day was never enough, and neither was a week. Oddly this rarely lasts forever and as the days, months and years roll by the relationship can become somewhat routine. You know each other so well now, what you can get away with, what you cannot, likes and dislikes, the passion that was once a burning inferno is now but a small camp fire. Don't get down quite yet, there is still hope!

Like a car needing a tune up, a house needing to be renovated, so do relationships. Gently grab your partner and explain to him that things have got to change. State that you are serious and that he has to make more time to accommodate you. Suggest ideas for new experiences, be willing to listen to his side of the story, and try to meet somewhere in between. Be spontaneous, a trip to a B & B for the weekend, an expensive night out. Make sure he knows that the relationship is not working as is and if something doesn't change it probably won't last. Better to give him fair warning of your worry. Keeping these thoughts inside can lead to unnecessary resentment.

It's a scary thing confronting your partner with such an ultimatum but essential for the progress of the relationship. Miscommunication kills more relationships then it saves. It's often good policy to make sure your both on the same page from time to time. So state your problems, your fears and concerns and hopefully it will all work out.

Best of Luck...

-Nate Lovestruck

Save This Question