The Stigma Only Women Must Face
Why are the women of today so heavily judged by their sexual appetite?
by Nate LovestruckEven now, a woman's role is harshly exaggerated and misjudged.
What determines what we're known as is based solely on an
opinion and who said it. Men that get it on with numerous
women are considered to be "players" whereas if a women does
the same she is labelled as nothing but a cheap "slut". It's
quite sad that even in this day and age people are still
using this cruel term to describe a women that readily
pursues her sexual appetite. Although it doesn't work
against me being a guy myself, I just don't see it as being
fair. Why is it that women aren't able to enjoy the same
liberties as men without all the stigma.
The dictionary defines the word SLUT as "a woman considered
sexually promiscuous", "woman prostitute", "a slovenly
woman; a slattern". Did you notice, not one of these
definitions mention us males, why is that? Due to not having
a clear cut way of saying who is a slut and who isn't, the
dictionary definition and the one in the minds of people are
completely different. Everyone has their own opinion of what
a slut actually is, and the women of today are constantly
trying not to be labelled as one.
What is it that defines a slut in the eye of the average
person? Is it the women's standards, how many men they sleep
with? What if the woman is using the guy for sexual release,
or perhaps she is so busy that she doesn't have time for a
rooted relationship, should she just forego contact with the
opposite sex because she doesn't want to be labelled as a bad
girl?
Depending on your upbringing or religion, a slut can be
someone who merely dresses scandalously, has had sex with
more than one partner, even a prostitute. The big question I
ask is why is there so much anger and ill feelings behind
this word, and why is it only applied to the female side of
the spectrum? Promiscuous men are often called studs,
players, a gods among men, a ladies man, while females are
considered skanks with no self respect.
A friend of mine once came up with the argument that the
word slut was just a way to control the female population.
At first I didn't quite understand what he was getting at,
but after giving it a bit more thought I realized he made a
good point. By saying, "this girl is a slut", there is a
level of control that is gained if she starts to believe it.
In order to not be labelled as such, she may avoid being
promiscuous thus giving the men in her life more control
over her. Even worse, stay in an unhealthy relationship
because she doesn't want to end up as another notch on a
mans belt and thus be stamped a slut. On the other hand men
can openly brag about the red head, the blond and the
brunette they got with all in the same week without the
stigma that surround women that want to do exactly the same
thing.
While each of us is different in appearance, attitude and
mindsets we all hold the same feelings deep down. Some of
us choose to deny them and pretend they don't exist, while
others embrace them fully and are in touch with what
motivations them to be with people. A fear of being alone,
the anguish of giving to much or not getting enough. To be
remembered, to have an impact on someone's life. Why does
one seek out to have multiple partners? For the experience,
to have bragging rights, and sadly enough some do it just
for a brief moment of feeling loved. Yes we all have our
reasons, and it can't be summed up as easy as that, we're
all different. The reasons are infinite.
I suppose the point I'm trying to get across is that the
term slut can be very powerful if used in the wrong way.
From a playful, "yeah I'm a slut, I'm up 35 bed side
notches", to the mean spirited "that dirty slut broke up
with me for another guy". It's a painful thing to say to
anyone in the wrong context and the fear of being labelled as
one definitely plays a great role in how some people conduct
themselves. To be honest with yourself, to know that you do
things for the right reasons, if you want something, strive
for it, don't be ashamed. Words are words, and feelings are
feelings. Move beyond and be your own person and stop
worrying about what other people think of you. In the end
it's really only your own happiness that counts.
Pimp - One who derives income from the earnings of a prostitute usually by soliciting business
Promiscuous - Having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners; indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.
Skank - One who is disgustingly foul or filthy and often considered sexually promiscuous. Used especially of a woman or girl.
Tramp - One who travels aimlessly about on foot, doing odd jobs or begging for a living; a vagrant. A person regarded as promiscuous.
Whore - A prostitute. A person considered sexually promiscuous.
Prostitute - One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.
Gigolo - A man who has a continuing sexual relationship with and receives financial support from a woman.
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