The 6 Stages of a Broken Heart
Fixing a broken heart can be tough
by Lena MadronaAt one point or
another almost everyone has experienced a broken heart.
Whether it happened in 3rd grade or a week before your
80th birthday, most of us can relate to the Celine Dion
song “All by Myself” (even though we won't admit it).
What's important is to get through this passing phase of
your life. “Passing” is a verb I chose because you do
get over it.
You definitely know it's time to stop brooding over
your broken heart when you start to notice that your
friends are ditching you (for some odd reason,
analyzing the “break-up hug” for 3 hours a pop seems
boring to them), your parents roll their eyes every time
you recall a story about your ex, and the pictures of
your ex are getting more dog-eared by the day. However,
this grieving process is perfectly natural, and everyone
has their own way of getting over a broken heart. My way
is by following the 6 stages I mention below.
Stage One
The Realization - Lately you notice that things
have been a bit rocky between you and your partner, well
ROCKY may be an understatement! TREMULOUS, ROLLER
COASTER RIDE FROM HELL is much more like it. Okay, maybe
now I'm exaggerating. Anyways, you've come to realize
that things aren't going to work out unless you enjoy
getting the “silent treatment”. Somehow, the sparks that
were flying at the beginning of the relationship have
now turned into an uncontrollable forest fire.
Ultimately, you need to muster up the courage and face
the fact that things aren't AREN’T WORKING.
Stage Two
The ACTUAL Realization - Okay, so you had the
biggest fight ever and vow never to see him/her again.
So, what happens now when you realize you can never call
them again for a quick cup of coffee... or, at all? What
if you start to miss them? What if they DON'T miss you?
You might start to think maybe it wasn't a good idea to
break up after all. And then you have an epiphany. OF
COURSE it was a good idea -- the relationship wasn't
working out. Don't call them, remember you broke up for
a reason. Just because you miss them doesn't mean it'll
be great when you see them again. Just keep reminding
yourself why you broke up in the first place and DON'T
CALL THEM!
Stage Three
The Crappy Part - Once you realize that your life
will be different, this is what I call the
crap-pi-phany (like epiphany). You go through the phrase
of listening to songs that remind you of them, cry
into a pillow that still smells like them, and agonize
about what’s going to happen next. Your life may seem
over, but trust me, time heals all wounds and even a
broken heart will mend over time. This stage sucks, but
it's vital believe me. DO NOT hold in your hurt, you'll
only feel worst later on.
Stage Four:
The Rage - That bitch/bastard! I treated them
like gold! This is the most critical stage - Bitterness.
You list all their annoying traits that you once thought
was actually cute. Who actually uses the word "poopy"?
At this point instead of wasting your day in bed
watching old reruns of Maury Povich you get out of bed
and dress to impress. Now that you look good and feel
good you can actually say and believe it, " if they
don't want you, that's their problem, not yours. Over
time you'll start missing them less and love yourself
more. Keep yourself busy with new hobbies, school, work
and friends. There is no point feeling sorry for
yourself when there is a whole world out there waiting
for you with plenty of new and exciting people to meet.
Stage Five:
The Crush - Over time you'll begin to realize
that your ex isn't the only one in the world. Wow!
There's some damn fine peeps in this city. The point is,
once you're able to open yourself up again, other people
will want to get to know you. Even if you're not ready
to start an intense relationship with somebody else, get
out there and start having fun again. You'll get over
your ex a lot faster if you stop moping around.
Stage Six:
FREEDOM! -You haven't thought about your ex in
days, (well it's a start) and BAM, there they are
strolling down the street with someone else, AND your
stomach doesn’t lurch as if there’s a gerbil on steroids
lodged in your intestines, your face doesn’t even turn
bright red. When you say hi , your ex looks more
uncomfortable than you. Once the encounter is over, you
stroll away proud and tall and don't think about the
encounter for more then 10 minutes ever again. (PS.
Have they put on weight?). You smile, because now you
know you are finally free and ready to open up and love
again.
This concludes my analysis of the trauma of a broken
heart, from my experience. Although some stages may be
longer than others, the important thing to remember is,
you WILL get over this. If someone doesn't love you
anymore or you don’t love them, there is no point in
staying together even if it hurts to break up. Over time
the pain will heal and you'll be ready to let others in
and share your wonderful self with them. If they break
your heart, learn, feel (because it’s important to be
human), and live again. I’m a true believer in soul
mates, just because one relationship didn’t click,
doesn't mean that there's not another person waiting
close by to snatch you up.
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